Elliot: the Life of a feral cat

I am Elliot
A child born to Momma one sunny June morning in a barn
I am that cute little Tuxedo kitten you saw at the shelter behind bars
I am the one you could not resist, the one with a single tear shaped patch of white under the right eye

I am Elliot
Child of a farmer's daughter
The one he without remorse gunned down 5 weeks after she brought us into this world
The one who fed us then killed my sister Sasha and brothers Troy and Sir
I am the one that escaped quietly as I heard the cries of my siblings echoing from the garage that Sunday morning

I am Elliot
The motherless child the neighbor took to the shelter.
The one they found distraught and broken under the porch
I am the one you promised to love forever and care for

I am Elliot
Remember that beautiful Tuxedo kitten you fell so deeply in love with
Love at first sight you promised me a life, security, shelter and food
I am the one you nestled with in front of the fire during the bitter Winter months

I am Elliot
Your star child. Mommy? Do you remember today's date?
I am two years of age today
Can I visit you? Throw me a few bits of decent food

I am Elliot
I roam from field to barn
Chased by coyote and dogs
Kicked in the ribs, grabbed by the scruff and thrown face first on gravel roads
Shot at, pushed, hit, spat at, degraded and yelled at
The old woman tried feeding me poison once

I am Elliot
Lately, I have very little strength to fight for the bits of mice
I have hunted in the canola field behind the old abandoned barn
The younger tomcats, strutting their lush furs for any female
Shoving, pushing, stealing my claim
Once upon a day I was a prize fighter, a lady's man

I am Elliot
Fur dirty, matted
Skin hangs from under my left eye from hitting gravel
My teeth are broken
I was beautiful once; such silky hair and bright emerald green eyes

I am Elliot
My body has weakened
Food means little to me now; what I can keep down
I am feverish; in constant pain; swollen belly
I have nightmares; My sleep restless

I am Elliot
For the first time I slept in peace
I felt this cool wet nose push against my cheek
And the warm touch of a tongue
There she was; Sasha.
The most beautiful yellow eyes
Long beige flowing hair and still she remained such a sweet tiny girl
She looked deep into my eyes with quiet understanding
And spoke to me as only cats communicate with one another
There, behind her, sat Momma
Many I have had the pleasure of meeting
But this Calico angel; this farmer's daughter; crying....
And at her feet, Troy and Sir sleeping peacefully
Twin orange tabbies
How I remember the four of us chasing each other while Momma watched over us
"Elliot" such sweet music. How I missed that voice
"Momma; why did that man do this?"
"Elliot. It's of no importance now. You are tired my son. You are feverish, your cough is much worst and the light in those emerald greens I have loved forever has dimmed."
"I am sorry Momma. For running away that day; for losing the fight; for...."
"Hush Elliot. All is well. Sasha?" "Momma?" "Come join your brothers"
Then, with such grace Momma came to me
How soft and warm her coat felt close to me
"Elliot"
"Yes Momma"
"Close your eyes baby; it's time"

I am Elliot
I leave to you my last breath
I give to you one last look
Look deep; the last of Momma's legacy dims slowly from this existence
I am so tired. I don't see very well right now
I am trying to hold on dearly
Perhaps by chance someone will find me
Give me that second chance my family never had

I am Elliot
Please, remember this name
Please, offer my resting body a proper burial
Do not leave me lying here amidst the insects and dirt

I am Elliot
More will come like myself
Broken, orphaned, abandoned
There are many of us
Next time you meet one of us
One who is ravaged by hunger, illness, despair
Remember these emerald green eyes that once pierced the night and drew rainbows in the sky
Next time one of us comes to you for love and shelter
Let them whisper my name to you as you sleep

I am Elliot
It is getting so dark
My paws twitch with uncontrollable fits
I am tired
I hurt
It is so dark

John has over a decade of caring for feral cats. He is working on a book called Loving the Feral Soul which is a very personal look at his life as a caregiver and the lives of feral cats. It's by no means a technical book but a personal journey. His plans for the proceeds are for more traps, more public outreach, a better facility to care for them. This is just a sample of what will be in the book. He is just one of thousands of caring people who care for feral cats. The huge numbers of feral cats is aggravated by people not spaying and neutering their cats Many of the resulting kittens will be abandoned before they are altered and the problem just gets worse.

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Elliot: The life of a feral cat